A Complicated Poem

Fighting for the future But still stuck in the past Wanting to stand out But also fit in at last   Feeling more secure But needing reassurance Supporting many people With myself as less important   Wanting peace on earth But can’t get peace of mind Attacking those who oppose me But preaching how to […]

“Where I’m At Right Now”: 2019 Pt 1

These past couple weeks has been a hell of a roller coaster for me. A very exhausting one. The one good thing about it is that it’s similar but far, far from as crazy as it was last year around this time. The first thing is my medication. Last year when the weather started getting […]

Some Therapy Homework

Gonna share these rap lyics I just wrote with my therapist tomorrow. I think she’ll be very proud. I know I am: “I won’t turn the other cheek I won’t accept that I’m a freak I won’t let u bring me down I won’t turn my fucking frown upside down I won’t respect crookedness I […]

Positively, Authentic Me

There is something that has been bugging me for a good part of this year so far. Actually scratch that. It’s been the better part of my whole life, but I say this year because of me now being more self aware than ever before. This is my association with the word “positive”. If you […]

My Autobiographical Mix

Yesterday I had yet another very productive and insightful session with my therapist. It started out with me once again venting about how I am constantly stressing over being 30 instead of 20 and how depression has stole over a decade of my life. It then turned into her reassuring me that it was very […]

#ItsOkayToNotBeOkay

Months ago, like nearly a year ago actually, I was doing those “Where I’m At Right Now” posts. They represented me in a much different, still very much vulnerable me. That part of me is still here but thankfully does not pop up once every day like it used to. Anyway, I bring this up […]

Mental Illness Makes Me…

Depression makes me hate myself Depression makes me feel I don’t deserve love Depression makes me not accept compliments Depression makes me unable to recognize my strengths Depression makes me put others before myself Depression makes me lie to myself when I scream that I love myself. In even my own blog and videos.   […]

My Traumatic Adolescence (Pt 2)

…My parents told me some familiar news toward the end of my amazing fourth grade year. That the landlord of the house was not selling the house, but kicking us out. Why? Because she doesn’t like kids. That was at least what I remember being told by my parents later. I wasn’t really devastated as […]