I was receiving so much support on Twitter from people more than ever. And vise versa. In fact, this wasn’t even from just MH Advocates anymore. It was a wider range. In little to no time I had around 3,000 followers, all due to my dedication to the Resistance. Twitter had a trending FollowBack campaign called #FBR (Follow Back Resistance) which consisted of twitter users coming together in the fight to take back the country that was and still is falling apart under Trump’s border-line dictatorship and treason. Plus to encourage everyone to vote in the Midterm Polls to take back the House of Representatives and the Senate and fill most of the seats with Democrats. Or as our slogan for it goes, the BlueWave or BlueTsunami. But other than talking politics in threads, retweeting threads and coming up with clever punchline tweets about the G.O.P. and MAGAts to make humor out of the dark situation, a lot of these BlueWave “snowflakes” were very supportive of me voicing my inner struggles and even read quite a few of my blog posts. One day when I was on the verge of a breakdown for no specific reason right before going to my weekly music production class, I tweeted about how tired I am of everything (or something of that nature, I really can’t remember) and so many MH advocates and resisters came to my rescue by quoting my tweet and giving me links in the replies to suicide hotlines. But one resister who I had yet to even realize followed me, did not comment. She DM’d me instead and asked if I would like to talk to her on her cell at some point just to rant about what I’m going through and she can be a source of peer support. After exchanging numbers I called her the next day. We ended up talking for 3 plus hours until my battery nearly went out. Everything I expressed and told her about my life story, she validated it completely. She also would tell me a lot of her own struggles which ironically were related to mental health even though she had no affiliation with the community on twitter. She was extremely like-minded and also told me the reason she wanted to DM me instead of reply, was because she had a bad experience with a suicide hotline where the caller told her she is “too old” for this kind of thing. So she thought about being my hotline (even though I was and never am suicidal) if I ever needed one.
I felt so great after that long conversation. But around this time, on the flip-side of things, someone was starting to reach out via to me via DM in a one-on-one style of peer support. She had been on twitter for a while and was very lonely and would often openly refer to herself as an introvert and had a whole lot of MH advocates constantly showing her support when she told them her story. But because of things happening in her younger years and being around people in real life who invalidated her feelings, a lot of the reassurance she got from us, the less it registered with her. She wasn’t the only one though. Someone else with an even scarier story that was still happening began DMing me and now there were two people on my direct message board who at any time could be in a crisis and would want to talk to me. It was hard to tell them at certain times I was busy because I really did want to help them despite a lot of the stuff they said they were doing or wanted to do was out of my hands. As the fall of 2018 started approaching, this dilemma of mine would soon end up transforming into what still is the biggest breakthrough I would ever have that year let alone on twitter where I would feel more alive and confident than ever before…(to be cont’d)