(This first person narrative post is the first of a multiple post series that I will be uploading for the next few days. This is the first chapter while the 2nd one will be tomorrow and so on and so forth..)
Last year when I started this blog, I felt completely alone. Everything I was numb to for the longest time came back into my head overnight. All the emotions held back for years. All of the reasons behind these emotions. And realizing everything I had lost starting in college up until then. Everything I thought I was better off without. And while I do know I WAS better without, that was not how I felt the day I started this blog. All I wanted was to express myself, be open, take the mask off but also become friends with ppl just like me that shared the same inner struggles. Start over socially, but with the RIGHT people. A couple days later (my second overall post was written the day after this happened) I had a massive anxiety attack in the middle of the night. My parents had to get up and drive me to the emergency room at the local hospital. This first week of getting over the numb state was probably the scariest to get thru as it was like a shock to my system.
Anyway, since then I furiously started writing a new post once a day and many of them were (rightfully so) filled with anger and brutal honesty about my feelings toward everything in my past and how it scarred me for life. Meanwhile, I was obsessively checking the stats on my phone for each post. I was lucky to get 6 views at the most for a couple of them. At the time, I was only using Blogspot and wouldn’t start using WordPress until a couple months later. But putting all that aside, I felt the only way to get any views and be heard was to email the very few ppl I still knew with links to each post. This didn’t really do much. I began to feel like everyone didn’t want me to tell my story because there is a double standard against me.
Desperate as fuck, I swallowed my pride and googled ways to promote one’s blog, but for free. I really was new to all of this, and while writing this now in January 2019 I cannot even believe that all this was happening last April which is 3 plus months short of being a year ago. But anyway, the list of tips I found that were the most useful told me that the most common way to promote one’s blog is through social media. My initial reaction was not very positive. I had deleted my Facebook and Twitter accounts a year and a half earlier when me and my ex broke up after being together for nearly 7 years. So after hours of thinking it over, that evening I took the plunge, created a secondary email account and used it to create a brand new Twitter account that had zero affiliation with the “friends” I knew in my previous life with that previous account. This account was created simply to self promote. And only that. Not for social purposes. I was on a mission. Because I no longer had any friends, I was not expecting to get many followers but only enough to get web traffic. I didn’t care about anything else.
In the week that would follow, another major breakthrough in my personal life would happen. And it would be long overdue to say the least….(to be cont’d)
Stay Tuned For Part 2.
Will Post It Tomorrow…