I Will Never Stop

I was taken away from public school to a physically and mentally abusive school.
But I kept going

I was so depressed after so many school tried to bring me down as a pre-teen
But I kept going

I felt like nobody understood me
But I kept going

I was stuck in schools for years with kids who needed far more help with day to day life than myself
But I kept going

I fought tooth and nail to get me back into the public school system I deserved to be in. It resulted in the best 2 years of my life.
Because I kept going

I fell into a massive numb depression during college that also affected my physical health.
But I kept going

I was bullied by people who all were technically grown men, both students and professors.
But I kept going

I felt like my successful high school years were a fluke
But I kept going

I had very triggering, demeaning, humbling job experiences after graduating from college.
But I kept going.

I was forced to smile when I constantly didn’t feel happy which only made me more unhappy.
But I kept going.

I was constantly told by everyone including my girlfriend that I was blaming everyone else for my problems.
But I kept going.

I had similar triggering experiences with job coaches, job placement services and a voice acting coach.
But I kept going

I was manipulated and forced to put all my needs aside for my girlfriend while still in a numb depression that didn’t matter to her.
But I kept going

We broke up after seven years and it made me nearly stop caring about everything
But still. I kept going

A couple months later, Donald Trump was elected President.
But still. I kept going.

My numb depression went away in early 2018, I made it known to myself and others I was ready to pick myself up and advocate for people like me, resulting in me finding the biggest support in my life all simply thru a brand new Twitter account.
Why? Be because I kept going.

I applied for jobs on my own which resulted in more triggering, more attempts to humble me and more and more setbacks. At this point I am 30 and this is pretty recent. A few weeks ago, I tried reaching out to a job placement service I thought I could trust for once. They were no different than the rest. I could and can tell my life is not my fault but nobody outside of Twitter fully understands that, especially my psychiatrist who I also thought I could trust.

But….I will STILL keep going.

Nobody and no amount of setbacks will ever stop me from getting where I need to be.

In the end, I will come out on top.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s