I Can’t But I Won’t Either

I’m in a really dark place right now.

I can’t relax.
I can’t stop dwelling on all of the setbacks I had because I don’t fit the status quo.
I can’t stop crying.
I can’t stop losing energy no matter how much coffee I consume or how much sleep I get.
I can’t stop being angry, nor should I honestly, but that’s beside the point.
I can’t stop being blind to all the positives I have in my life.
I can’t stop relying on the recognition of others to remind me of how valuable I am because I can’t stop forgetting I am valued.
I can’t stop complaining. Nor should I. But that’s beside the point.
I can’t stop being “sensitive”

I am not okay.

I won’t stop being open.
I won’t stop living.
I won’t stop pressing on.
I won’t stop fighting.
I won’t lose this battle with my inner demons.
I won’t let the ppl who made my life what it is now win.
I won’t lose hope.
I won’t be somebody else.
I won’t strive to do something just to please others.
I won’t let my depression, anxiety, bipolar and PTSD define me.

I am not okay.
But that’s okay.
Tomorrow may be better.

3 thoughts on “I Can’t But I Won’t Either

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