Nice Guys DO Finish Last…I’ll Explain (Originally Published on May 16th 2018)

To me, the term “nice guy” really just means “doormat”. Everytime I here the term “nice guy”, it’s usually describing someone whose supposed kindness can be taken advantage of. Now let me be clear. I believe NO ONE has the right to take advantage of anyone. I also believe “nice guys” are only being nice to please people. I would know. I was once one of those people. I didn’t choose to be. I was mentally forced to be that way as a child. Like George McFly says in Back To The Future, I thought I was “not very good at confrontation”. People confuse general niceness with genuine kindness and compassion for others. If you give a shit about other people, it will show a lot more and it will not come across as fear. But if you are a people pleaser, you could be using unintentional dishonesty as a shield (subconsciously) you may not even need.
Here’s the thing. This is not a post meant to bash “nice guys” or give you the impression that they all are dishonest. Some are unintentionally dishonest as a way of protecting themselves to avoid getting hurt verbally or worse. Having low self esteem is NOT THEIR FAULT. It wasn’t mine either. Now the other type of “nice guy” is someone who only cares about one’s self and acts friendly to build social capital and build an image they most likely do not match with. They LIKE being worshipped as a “nice guy” but once that kind of person stabs you in the back, their true colors show.
I do not believe in masking yourself to please others and give “good impressions”. I believe in being yourself. Bring real. Being raw. Being honest. It isn’t easy for some, especially those deep in depression, but I believe talking it out and demanding to be heard can help heal a lot quicker than trying to “fit in”. If people don’t like you because they think you’re “off putting” or don’t fit the status quo, fuck ’em. They are the ones wearing a mask deliberately. They are not nice. They are “nice guys”.
If you could choose between being a “nice guy” or a “good person”, which one would you choose?….Exactly.
And THAT’S why Nice Guys finish last.

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