A List Of What Not To Say To A Vulnerable Kid Or “Adult”

Okay. I am about to post a list for everyone and I mean everyone. Not just my audience who would relate to this anyway, but the anti-audience. You know who you are. The MAJORITY. The problems with society. The reasons the suicide rates are higher than ever. The reasons we have Trump in office. The reason so many people are afraid to open up or speak up. This is dedicated to you.

List of things NOT to say if you really care about someone:

“Suck it up”
“Man up”
“Relax”
“We are just trying to help you”
“That wasn’t our intention”
“You will get over it”
“Get over it”
“Let it be”
“Let it go”
“I’m so glad you’re thinking clearly now”
“We don’t know how to help you”
“Think about how WE feel for a change”
“C’mon Sam, give us a break”
“Smile!”
“When you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you”
“I don’t understand why you feel hurt by this.”
“Grow a pair”
“Grow some thick skin”
“Sam, you have to stop playing the victim”
“You are responsible for your own happiness”
“But that happened a long time ago”
“But Sam, you need to understand that autistic children CAN be a burden for some”
“Now don’t get upset”
“Let adults handle it”
“I am the adult. You are the kid.”
“You’re being negative Sam!”
“Why can’t you just…be?”
“You need to have more self-confidence”
“It’s good for you”
“Sam, the person who posted that list your friend showed you over toxic sentence openers is mentally unstable”
“So it’s all about YOU?”
“Just accept it. It’s just the way it is”
“There’s nothing you can do about it”
“Focus on what’s good that’s happening in your life”
“Change the tone in your blog”
“As a survivor, you are in a tough situation. Your unattractive behavior can legitimately turn people off”
“Your demeanor can be off-putting to people.”
“It seems ever since last fall, everything with you has been The System this and The System that”
“You need to stop blaming everyone for your problems”
“Don’t feel that way”
“You have no reason to be upset”
“You may not like or be “hurt” by what they said but look at it from their perspective”
“Yes he may rap inappropriate things about his parents, but he is a grown-up and you’re a kid”
“We put you in a full hold for you to be SAFE”
“What’s past is past”
“Oh look, it’s the twilight zone. Sam is happy”
“Good for you! You made a joke! Because often you are ya know, SERIOUS.”
“We know what’s best for you”
“We are only looking out for your best interests”
“You may not like it but THIS IS YOUR SCHOOL”

And that’s just a small fraction of what NOT to say. Whether they are clinically depressed or not. It can save lives in the long run. None of what I listed is a result of overthinking and misinterpreting and intentions don’t matter. It can make anyone feel invalidated. Not just me. And when that shit piles up, it is only right to get dumped all the way back down on you.

Think about it.

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