Originally posted yesterday (https://maddawgvlogs.blogspot.com)
First off, let me give all of you this PDF link to click on if you don’t already know why it is a terrible idea to support Autism Speaks in any way, shape or form.
Now that we got that out of the way, let me assure you I will be blogging on a daily basis again hopefully by tomorrow. It’s been pretty quiet on here in the past couple of days. Today and yesterday were the worst it has ever been for me emotionally. Thankfully I have tons of support on Twitter that constantly reassure me they are there for me just as much as I am there for others and how they are always free in the DMs to chat. This really meant a lot to me.
This whole ups and downs issue is bigger than Aspergers and Bipolar Disorder. It is all PTSD related. These past couple of days the flashbacks and misread interpretations of people who actually care damaged my self confidence and ability to function without making a public scene. Yesterday I thankfully was able to see my psychiatrist again (and followed up with her on the phone today). She heard me out and it is clear I completely misjudged her in our first few sessions. She gets it. I didn’t even need to remind her what the causes of these episodes in the past were. She listed them all out for me the minute I opened my mouth. Anyway, she prescribed two new meds (one in person yesterday and an additional one just now) that will help with stopping PTSD from holding me back from doing what I want to do and continuing to speak out and reach people. I felt yesterday and earlier today that it was all about me. I seriously thought nobody really cared and they were just giving me one-liner type of advice (ex. “Keep Ur Head Up”) but today that has once again been proven wrong. I just took the first of the two new meds a few minutes ago as it was already ready to be picked up. I can already feel the good effects. I hope this continues. But regardless, I gotta stay strong and fight these demons. And I will. Because just like how I ended a recent post, I “can’t stop, won’t stop, don’t even know how to stop”.