There is a big difference between being told to “Think Positive” as opposed to experiencing circumstances, events and interactions that are positive to you. Here are the main differences:
“Think Positive!!” :
“You are only going to get people to like you if you put on a happy face”
“The claim (it’s a fact in Madd Dawg’s book) that anticipating the worst will make the good outcome feel better and vice versa is a myth and is an unhealthy thought process.”
“Smiling produces endorphins. ”
“The most successful people “network” and kiss other people’s ass.”
“I am not in the mood for your drama. It is too inconvenient and tiring for me.”
“I don’t know how to help you.”
“You’re being negative Sam!!”
“I just want more of Sam to come out because this is not the real you.”
“When you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you.”
“You need to have more self confidence.”
“Practice smiling once every morning and once before bedtime” (Madd Dawg says HELL NO!!)
People accept you for who you are.
People give you good feedback on something. And if it’s constructive criticism, it is followed by words of encouragement.
People let you feel empowered and use words like empowering and strength or phrases like “You are a fighter”. Again words of encouragement, not words like “positive” or “negative”. Following those words up with “energy” is even worse btw.
People validate your feelings whether good or bad. If they say “Don’t be (or get) upset”, you probably will be even more upset than before.
People don’t pressure you to do “positive” things (based on their own opinion on what “positive” things are). They respect your boundaries.
You find something out or experience something that makes YOU feel happy. And when you tell people about it, they may not be as happy if it happened to them, but they show equal enthusiasm because they genuinely care.
Bottom line is, you need to be around supportive people who support in the correct way, not through pressure. Trying to “think positive” by yourself may work for some people, but that doesn’t mean it works for everyone. And in reality, it shouldn’t work for anyone if the correct option is out there.